Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
