wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
