I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
