i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
