The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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