it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
