is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
