she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
