I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I just put wine in my tea
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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