Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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