Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
