Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
