brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize