Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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