I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
