Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
