Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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