saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
