College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
