he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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