I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
