I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
