She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
