Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
