yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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