I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
