I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
someone owes me an orgasm
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
