i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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