The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
