there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
