tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
