I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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