Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
