i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
