When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
