Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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