I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
