Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
