did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
