That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
