I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize