It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
