Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
