just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
