What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Enjoy the penises
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
