1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
