Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize