hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
