Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
