She's JV to your varsity
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
