He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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