So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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