she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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