you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
