i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
