Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize