What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
