She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
