she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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