he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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