This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
