we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
