I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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