Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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