i just wanna soil my oats bro
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
